Deadly Assessments by Drew Hayes

 This is the fifth book about Fred the vampire accountant and his motley crew of friends. Click the link for or my review of the first book. 

The plot

The house of Turva (from the third book) are back and has decided to rather than face Fred head they should report him and the clan to the Blood council. They being the organization ruling the vampires specifically. Claiming he is unfit to act as a clan leader and that a clan shouldn't be made up of non vampires.

The Blood council sends Deborah to assess Fred as a vampire and clan leader. But also raking the time to teach him what he should know as a vampire and acting as his bodyguard.Of course the punishment should he fail the assessment is death for Fred and all the other members of his clan. 

My thoughts

The fifth book and like the others it's made up of several shorter stories. But with Deborah and her assignment being the over arching plot tying them together. It also sheds some more light on vampires their abilities as Deborah teaches Fred. 

Despite her mission Deborah doesn't really read as an antagonist. Being generally good humored and helpful both as a teacher and bodyguard. The reason for Fred needing a body guard being things that happened at the end of the last book. But all in all it makes her feel more like a part of the gang all be it one they keep secrets from.

The book also has an interesting take on power and kindness. That it takes power to be kind and that Fred in trying to help people when he doesn't have the power to back it up is putting them in more danger. But also that his kindness makes other people think he is stronger than he is assuming he is on par with the other members of his clan. 

Labour day 2025

As I probably wrote in last years post (I can't be bothered to check) I have a bit of a labour day tradition. I'll have a picnic in a park listening to socialist speeches. 

This year I'm going with a Victorian theme. This of course starts with some research and some inspiration from www.english-heritage.org.uk. Mostly to figure out what food I should have. This lead me to borrow Mrs Beeton's book of household management from the library to check out more exactly from a historical source. Now this is for a 40 person picnic so I'll have to scale it way down. So in the end I choose to bring.

Meat-pie

Sallad + dressing

Fresh fruit

lemonade

Blancmange

The second thing is deciding where I want to go. This was harder than it should be mostly because I'm planning this month in advance and the various parties doesn't release their plans until just a few weeks before. It's very inconsiderate.

In the end I managed to determine that my two options were Socialdemokraterna in folketspark or Vänsterpartiet in slottsparken so either same place as last year or same people as last year. Partially because I wanted a different view for the pictures and slightly for the more interesting speakers I chose socialdemokraterna. This time I doubled checked the time so I wouldn't arrive there hours before they did. The plan was to be there half an hour early eat my lunch read some and then listen to the speeches. So all that was left was finding recipes and waiting for the day.

The day before I made meat pie for dinner and two small ones for the picnic, I then left them cooling in the fridge.

Morning of I bought some ingredients and then had to figure out how much gelatin can replace 1,25 oz of isinglass halved for the blancmange. One of the joys of working with old recipes. Once it was done I realized that it was eleven o'clock meaning it would have just two hours to set which is less than I would like. Still it was too late to do much about it more than putting one in the freezer. Then I set to packing my picnic basket and getting dressed in a floofy dress and Victorian inspired makeup. 

To let the blancmange it have as much time as possible I left a bit late but I made it in time anyway and had plenty of space to set up even if there were a few people there already. Like last year weather was very nice sunny and 20 degrees.  

The wineglass while adding an air of sophistication was a mistake considering the uneven ground. Still the pies and the blancmange was excellent and had solidified by the time I ate it.  

This years book was Greek philosophy with Epikretos the art of life. The basic theme of which is ,sometimes bad things happens but that is not a reason to loose your composure. I'll write more about it in a different post. 

One and a half hour later I decide to move. I have eaten all my food and someone with the worlds smelliest cigar had sat down upwind from me. So the plan had been to eat and read for half an hour before it all began but checking the party website it said they wouldn't arrive for a while I suspect they have changed the time since I checked last. Also there was things to check out and I wanted to be in a good position to actually see the speeches. 

I didn't actually see them I took pictures but they are mostly of crowds. The speeches wee fine about what I expected but it's an election next year so I thought it would be good to know what they wanted since this is a party that I might vote for. It was a bit fun though when one of them misspoke and said they were with Tesla and got laughed at by the crowd. 

At this point I was starting to worry about sunburn and packed up and left.

How to become the dark lord and die trying by Django Wexler

 This is another one of the books I bought mostly for the title and I'm happy to report that the title match the content and tone. 

Plot

Davi dies being tortured in the dark lords dungeon. Then she wakes up in floating in a pond, just as expected after all this has happened a few hundred times before. It's all part of the time-loop she is caught in. Normally she would go to the kingdom seduce the prince and then rallying the kingdom's armies to fight against the dark lord when one inevitably arises. Before loosing, dying and ending up right back in the pond. 

This time she has a new plan rather than wait for the dark lord to appear she will be the dark lord. 

My thoughts

It's not a book for the faint of heart after all there are quite a bit of gore, sex and the aforementioned torture. Davi also dies quite a few times. Before she manages to convince a small band of orcs to join her and becomes her minions. In general the tone reminded me of Deadpool with fourth wall breaks, violence and humor. But I didn't mind it. I'm less sure about the turns of phrases or references. Basically Davi is from earth but has been in this fantasy world for long (a few hundred loops most lasting a few years) enough to have forgotten most of her life there. However she use English phrases frequently which the wilders doesn't understand or recognize. One would think that after a few lifetimes spent there she would have changed her speech. So how she remembers and how much she says she remembers don't really add up. I know this is a very nit picky thing but it's one of those things that once you notice it you can't stop.

The world-building is one of the strongest points and the conflict between the humans and creatures of the wilds (orcs, humanoid animals, and other things) have nuanced reasons. based on the humans expanding their holdings and the finite supply of Thaumite driving it. Thaumite being stones humans need to do magic and wilders need to live and reproduce. As Davi travels through the wilds she meet different creatures befriending some killing others and adding to her hoard she gains a new understanding of the people she has always just seen as her enemies and their way of life. 

As for the traveling that's most of the plot. In order to become the dark lord she needs to be chosen at the convocation a gathering in a ruined city sacred to the old ones. From previous lives she knows it happens roughly two months after she is reborn Wich is not a lot of time to gather minions or cross a mountain range and miles of wilderness. The plot is the obstacles on the way from cliffs that needs to be scaled, supply issues and hostile locals. Still they are varied and interesting enough to keep me reading. Having a main character who is kind of immortal does lower the stakes. But it was reasonably engaging the book explained why she couldn't just start over when things got difficult. In general I liked it and will probably read the sequel some time.

Painting jars for cat food

For various reasons I keep some of my cat food in two tubs and because I open them several times a day they mostly stay on the counter. Which this is a problem since it's just two old peanut butter tubs that I have written their names on and it's just not very pretty. Actually it's quite ugly and makes the counter looking cluttered. So something had to be done. The easiest option would be to move them into a cabinet, I have more space than I know what to do with but I know that it would only work for a few hours until I was going to to feed them again and then they would be right back where they started. So if I cant move them the next option is to at least make them nicer. I first looked into buy some aesthetic jars and though I did find some, there were none that I really liked. I also had the idea that they should be different (so I can tell them apart) but still matching and it was proving bit difficult. In the end I decided to make my own. 

I have a pair of pickle jars that are of a decent size and figured they should be fairly easy to paint.

Test one 

I decided to begin with a small scale test, mostly to check if acrylic paint even sticks to glass. I didn't put that much thought into the pattern and just free handed a night sky. It went on quite well specifically the black paint went on smooth and satisfying. Though some colors did need a second coat I'm quite satisfied with the visual result. As for the durability I have some concerns.

Even the next day it's...not sticky but something. Also I can scrape it of with my finger nails (I tried this on the bottom where it's uneven). I'll give it a week or two and see if it gets better. If not I'm considering covering it in lacquer. I do need to buy some anyway to fix a chair. 

Update one, a few days later

The lacquer did not work. Rather it dissolves the paint to the point that the brush I'm painting on the lacquer with rubs it of. 

Update two, There's been a slight delay to this. A bag if rice I opened was made of some kind of flimsy plastic that rips if you even looks at it. So now all of my previously empty jars are now filled with rice. It's not a major problem and does give me more time to consider the design and test things.

Test two

Can I paint metal lids with acrylic paint. A fair number of mason jars regularly pass through my kitchen but since most have ugly branded lids I don't keep that many. One of the jars I was considering using have lid like that and I would like to change it. 

All in all it worked fine. I have trouble coming up with a design so I just made it blue. With one coat I can still make out the label but a second coat did the trick. Though it's still uneven.

Test one part two

There is of course paint made for glass but they tend to be a bit transparent which I don't want since the whole plan is to hide the cat food.

 At this time I remember that there is a decent chance that my cats will realize there is food in the jars, knock them over and break them. I'm not willing to risk them eating food mixed with shards of glass and so I will find some other storage for my cat food and for now I'll leave this project. I'm considering getting some pretty metal tea containers. 

Satakatraya by Bhartrhari

This is a book of classic Indian poetry from the 5th century CE. I'm reading a Swedish translation of them. This version contains 183 poems though there appears to be some discussion about which of a number of poems should be part of the collection I'll link to the Wikipedia article for those who wants to know more. 

The poems/words of wisdom are mostly about the evils of riches, luxury or women and about the inherent superiority of Asceticism. But there are several about the value of being a good person.

My thoughts

Would knowing about Indian myths, symbols and philosophy help understanding these poems? Yes.

Do I have anything more than the barest idea about those things? No but that's not going to stop me. The book do have some helpful asterisks to explain the symbolism of the various plants, animals and gods. Which is good since there are a lot of those several of the poems are of the format creating a simile between something in nature and some human behavior. 

In general I was underwhelmed sure there were some poems I enjoyed like the one that is a fair description of the Dunning-Kruger effect. But my largest take away was how similar the poems all were to each other. This might have been partially my own fault I don't think you are meant to read them all in one go. Also most show a worldview that I don't subscribe to, mainly the sexism.It does the, women's only value is in their beauty but they bring ruin to men, thing. But also the asceticism, sleeping on the ground does not automatically make you a better person.

All in all I didn't like it which isn't helped by me not really feeling like reading it in the first place. Basically I'm reading a lot for my studies right now so I don't feel like reading anything difficult to relax. So I picked this one because each page is just one poem. Forgetting that short doesn't mean easy.  

Save money #3 Cook based on what you have.

This is primarily a way to reduce food waste though it can lower the weeks expenses they will simply be moved to later. That being said things don't stay fresh for ever so it's important to prioritize eating things you have. It's also just easier you are going to cook anyway and using what you have rather than buying ingredients and then throwing out things you had because they went bad is more work. In a perfect world you would avoid this by having a meal planed that takes care of all this but lets face it no one's that organized. 

The easiest way is that before you decide what you want to cook you check your fridge and cupboards see what there is. Mostly the fridge actually since the food there has the shortest shelf-life. Also by limiting your choices it can make it easier to come up with ideas. Easiest is to just google one of two ingredients and recipe I promise you are going to find several. Even better if you find one that lets you utilize other things you have. This is also why its important to know what you have and to regularly clean out cupboard and other food storage.

I don't have that much food at home in general. But as an example I have some celery and broccoli left over since the everything can be frozen post. But also some frozen heavy cream. Googling the ingredients got me among other things broccoli pie, checking the recipe it is mostly things I already have at home. Though I might need to buy more eggs and I do have a lot of cheese that needs to be eaten.

All in all it was quite a nice pie. 

The fangs of freelance by Drew Hayes

Plot

Everyone's favorite vampire accountant is back in this fourth book in the Fred series. At the end of the last book Bloody Aquisitions Fred and friends created the new vampire house and Fred signed up as a freelance asset for The agency. Hoping to gain their protection against the encroaching house of Turva. 

Bureaucratic wheels turn slowly but now the agency is calling on Fred to fulfill his end of the deal. But before he can officially work for them he is taken to their headquarters for a skill assessment. Along with agents Arch and Krystal who decided to tag along Fred will meet not only His prospective boss Roderick but also run into September Windbrook brother of June Windbrook and Krystals ex fiancee. 

My thoughts

Did I actually manage to make guy going on a job interview sound exciting? I think so. Like the others its a collection of chronological short stories. And the first is literally just Fred going for a job interview and meeting some of Krystals coworkers. The other stories follows Fred and co going on assignments, some for The Agency others helping out friends. Of course in a world of  magic assignments for accountants can still involve lovecraftian wizard ghosts in a crumbling castles and other dangers. 

There is less of an over arching plot to this one but there is a theme though one in the background of the plots. It's about how moving forward and not stagnating becomes more of a conscious choice as an immortal or undead creature. But also what happens for those that don't make do that choice. Although sort of immortal Fred and his friends are all quite young by supernatural standards. Fred and Krystal are in their ... early thirties? Neil and Albert are nineteen. Bubba and Amy are probably older than Fred but I don't think by much. So this is all a bit new to them.

All in all it's good but it is mostly Fred doing more or less accountant things. I'm not saying this as a bad thing it's just a bit of calm and return to a new normal after the last book and before the next.